This Spring's hottest trend is of course retro and no leader does it better than designer Vladimir Putin re-imagining Soviet sheek, by invading it's neighbors for fun and profit. Putin decided the must have item for his wardrobe was the Crimean Peninsula along the Black Sea, despite the little technicality of it being within the borders of Ukraine. His reasoning being since Ukraine didn't appear to doing anything useful with it anyways, why not just take it since not like Western leaders were not going to do anything to stop him. The Crimean crisis also illustrates how much clout the US has lost in Foreign Affairs as the strongest US response was a sternly worded letter from Barack Obama warning Putin to back out of Crimea or else he'll have to face wrath of Obama staring disapprovingly into a TV camera at a Rose Garden press conference. Russia's response was basically 'Oh no we can't unilaterally invade a country? Mean like you did Iraq?'
Oh poor, pitiful Ukraine. Obliterated in World War II, kicked in the teeth by Stalin, and then left with the toxic legacy of Chernobyl after the collapse of the USSR. And now it's at the point of starting to split into two as the Russian speaking, Industrialized East decides it's had enough of all the failing. If you thought America was sharply divided with the Red State vs. Blue State battle, we got nothing on Ukraine. It's like the sadsack classmate from high school who could never gets his shit together. It got to watch the other Eastern European nations rapidly improve socio-economically and start to enjoy a middle, upper class existence similar to its Western European neighbors while it fumbled through the 90's and 00's. If the Warsaw Pact countries had a class reunion, Ukraine would be the Stewart from Big Bang Theory of the group. So when people ask Ukraine asks how's it going, the response 'Well, my career prospects collapsed, I work cash register at Dunkin Donuts, my wife left me and took everything so I live at home with my Mom. But other than that I guess everything's fine. How about you?'
In other important global news...- Scarlett Johansson revealed to Glamour magazine that she does not like being called ScarJo because it's rude and immature. Reaction was generally split along gender with 90% of women saying in a sarcastic tone 'Uh, sure thing...ScarJo' and 95% of men 'responding 'ScarJo? I thought you meant Scar Hello, Hellllo!'
Bridgegate Explained for Non-New Jerseyites - To the average person who is not a political junkie nor lives in New Jersey, that little State wedged between New York City and Philadelphia like underwear between two large butt-cheeks. There is probably bafflement at all the hullaballo about the Gov.Chris Christie and the bridgegate.
For the uninitiated here's a recap, for about a week in September 2013, two lanes on the George Washington Bridge between Fort Lee, NJ and Manhattan were mysteriously closed causing four hour traffic jams for people trying to get into the City for work. Later it seeps out that it was political payback to the Mayor of Fort Lee, NJ as payback for not endorsing Christie in his upcoming Re-election for Governor.
To understand why this is a big deal, you have to understand New Jersey which is the most densely populated state in the country. This is demographic speak for you can't go anywhere without fucking people being around you. It's about 13 miles from my house to the commuter train station where I park and ride into Philly for work. According Google Maps it should take 20 minutes. But most rush-hours it can take anywhere from 35 to 60 minutes. Why? People. Fucking people everywhere. So when someone decides to shut down the busiest bridge in the World, it's gonna wreak havoc and there two things you do not do in New Jersey politics. First, you never blasphemy Bruce Springsteen or Jon Bon Jovi. Second, you do not screw with traffic.
But the wider implication is do we really want elected officials using public infrastructure as a hostage for either political payback or blackmail? Can you imagine the fury if a President started threatening States to withhold highway funding or disaster aid if they did not vote for him for re-election? That's something only third world countries do and should not be tolerated. Which might explain that flushing sound I keep hearing is Chris Christie's presidential aspirations going down the toilet.
Sometimes fitness obsessed people can be real dicks - SELF Magazine, the women's fitness magazine known for photoshopping celebrities on its cover, and recycling the same content roughly every six months managed to demonstrate why really super-obsessed, self-absorbed fitness fanatics are a mainstay on any Top 10 list involving annoying personality types. In the April 2014 issue, it's 'BS meter' pulled an awesome feat of being both bitchy and shallow when it chided the trend of people wearing tutus and being goofy during running events for the crime of (gasp) having trying to have fun while exercising. Because in the fitness obsessives' world, people who don't take exercising seriously and not in peak physical condition are not worthy to be in their presence at a gym, jogging path, bike lane, etc.
But the true jackpot of douche-baggery was the photo of the tutu wearing runner they used was a Brain Cancer survivor from a marathon to benefit other cancer patients. The only way that went worse if it was a picture from the Special Olympics. There were of course the usual quick succession of apologies and regrets, but for SELF editor Lucy Danziger it was too late and by end of March she and her editorial staff got shit-canned by Conde Nast. The number one reason people cite for not exercising at a gym or in public is because of the fear of being of judged. And who can blame anyone for fearing that, when it seems every gym has that pack of lunks and muscleheads who parade around the place like they own it clearly looking down at those a little out of shape or wanting to lose weight. If we want the nation to be healthier we can start by making fitness and exercise a judgement free endeavor.
Always notice how idiots manage to talk the loudest? - My hatred and loathing for Jenny McCarthy is well documented stemming from the public health problem she created by starting the anti-vaccine movement. Who despite being refuted being mountains of growing evidence to the contrary still insists vaccines cause autism. Up until she's offered a gig on the The View has suddenly has monetary incentive become mainstream suddenly says 'Oh my kid was autistic after all, my bad'.
Well there's a scientific reason that helps explain these people, it's called the Dunning-Kruger syndrome and is defined in The Manual of Psychological Disorders as such:
Which explains your crazy uncle, most conspiracy theorists, the show 'Ancient Aliens', and that really talkative person on airplanes who tends to overshare. As much as we would love to equate this as some recent phenomenon caused by the internet allowing any blowhard with a keyboard spout off to anyone within earshot. The origins go back to essentially the beginning of mankind, meaning Jenny McCarthy et al, are basically the descendants of people who insisted the Sun revolved around the Earth despite evidence from Galileo and other breakthroughs from the Enlightenment era.
'The tendency of the least informed, most willfully ignorant or in some cases just plain dishonest to insist they and they alone know and bravely speak the truth.'
We all have a set of beliefs or thoughts about the World, but for me a mark of intelligence is when presented with new and compelling evidence, being willing and able to change an opinion or belief. Or more precisely, being open to considering new evidence or facts that challenge our beliefs. When humans shut down the ability to consider new ideas, they experience something called 'epistemic closure' where belief systems are locked in and set for the remainder of life causing them to gradually become detached from reality. Which explains often dealing with old people, who wax on about 'Well back in my day...' and also explains ignorance, prejudice, or insisting The Beach Boys were better than The Beatles. I honestly believe the key to long life is having healthy mind and being open to learning and exploring helps keep your mind young and vibrant.
In case you're not sick of political advertising, the Supreme Court has decided you need more - In yet another Supreme Court case where campaign finance law is slowly being undone,in FEC vs. McCutcheon, a 5-4 majority ruled that limits to the number of campaigns violated free speech, so now instead of being limited to $123,200 in overall campaign contributions, they can now pretty much give unlimited campaign contributions. At this point we might as well make bribery legal since the reason this country placed limits of money in elections is it's corrosive effect on democracy. This means Billionaires and corporations can go ahead and spend unlimited amounts of money and literally buy elections.
But if there is one silver lining it's that so far since campaign finance limits began to be upended in 2009 thanks to this Supreme Court (FEC vs. Citizen's United) money in elections may only have a small return on investment. In 2012 two Billionaire brothers, Charles and David Koch alone contributed over $400 million funneled through outside political groups to try to defeat Obama and win back the US Senate for Republicans. You may not know these outside political groups with names Americans for Prosperity or Crossroads GPS but you'll know their work, mainly in the form of obnoxious political commercials throughout the election period. But for all that money spent, the political consultants it bought may not be that smart.
Sure you can blanket the airwaves with TV commercials touting your cause but it doesn't matter when majority of American homes have a DVR and can skip right through them. Plus political money can't buy the internet either. So what did the Koch brothers get for their $400 million in 2012 seeing Obama got re-elected? Two things named Jack and Squat. Makes you wonder if it's all a con game by Washington operatives to sucker rich guys like the Kochs into essentially pissing away millions of dollars.
Ignorance foiled by Science. Again - Creationists who believe the Earth and the universe are only 6,000 years old based on a literal interpretation of the Bible are having some hurt fees-fees over Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson and his new show Cosmos which explains the Universe using you know science and not taking their theories seriously. As someone who believes in God and Evolution, I have no problem reconciling science with faith. But for those still left in the Flat Earth Society, Dr.Tyson was there put that 6,000 year old smacktalk down.
Above is the Crab Nebula, a supernova remnant of an exploded star. Pretty ain't it. If you wanted to see it in person, you'd need a lot of time, like several millenniums worth, because it's over 6,500 light years away. If I understand my Astrophysics correctly a light year is the distance (expressed in time) that light or radiation emitted from an object in Space takes to be visible here on Earth. To give you a little comparison, light from the Sun takes eight light MINUTES to reach Earth. When you're sunbathing this Summer, remember those rays took eight minutes to traverse 92,935,700 miles to shine upon your pretty little face. Now compare that to the Abell galaxy, the farthest known galaxy from Earth at over 13.5 Billion years away.
And keep this in mind when you're looking at the Crab Nebula from a telescope, because it's 6,500 light years old, you're really looking at the way it looked 6,500 years ago. What shape is it now, well you'll have to wait 6,500 years to find out. So Creationists believe the universe is only 6,000 years? Seeing as 6,500 > 6,000 Dr.Tyson says 'Nah, bro'. Besides if you're gonna hate on Dr. Tyson, do it because he was on the panel of Astronomers who delisted Pluto as a planet. Pluto not a planet? Bullshit. Yeah it's just a frozen rock orbiting our solar system, but at least it has personality. Not like Neptune that's just of blue ball of gas.
Since I'm feeling really wonky about Astronomy - This past Fall Voyager 1, a space probe launched by NASA back in 1977 exited our solar system and entered Outer Space. Like outer, outer space. So a shout out to that little buddy, and may you live long and prosper. One of the chores of Voyager was to carry a golden disk containing sounds and information about Earth in the event Extra-terrestrials ever came across it. Sort of a 'Hello there, if your ever in our corner of the galaxy, come on by and see us sometime' Not to throw cold water on anyone hoping for alien contact but so far it's taken 37 years just to get to end of our solar system and so far, nothing, nada.
The nearest Earth like star that could contain life is Gilese 581, about 10 light years away. Since a light year is equal to 50 actual years, it's more like 500 years away. So the idea that aliens are visiting us probably isn't possible (I say 'probably' because there are no certainties in life. Like it was probable Miley Cyrus would not have career after Hannah Montana) unless they have really, really long lifespans or have mastered the art of hyperdrive like in Star Wars. Besides I think Stephen Hawking said it best
"We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn't want to meet. I imagine they might exist in massive ships, having used up all the resources from their home planet. Such advanced aliens would perhaps become nomads, looking to conquer and colonise whatever planets they can reach.If aliens ever visit us, I think the outcome would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn't turn out very well for the Native Americans."
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