How 'The Brady Bunch' explains the 2009 World Series

If anyone wants to see what the World’s largest inferiority complex looks like when unleashed, tune into the World Series when Philly hosts the Yankees. If you thought Philly fans booing Santa Claus was bad, just wait until A-Rod gets introduced to the Phils faithful. That’s because the relationship between New York and Philadelphia is a volatile, complex, highly psychological one that can best be described through everyone’s favorite 70’s sitcom ‘The Brady Bunch’.

Think of New York as Marcia Brady, the popular oldest sister who everyone loves, succeeds at everything she does, and is quite possibly the most important person in her high school, if not the World. Think of Philadelphia as Jan Brady, the oft-forgotten middle sister, who is barely noticed and whatever she does will always get upstaged by Marcia. You have to feel bad for Philly, the way we always felt bad for Jan. Despite having World-Class history, culture, museums, universities, and restaurants, Philly always..always..plays second fiddle to New York’s glamour, excitement, and bustle. If you want proof, just ask 10 people you know if they could take an all-expenses trip to either New York or Philly, which one would they choose? You’ll get the idea.

So here we are getting ready to start the World Series, as the Phillies are the defending champs with a team that may even be better than last year. But alas, what does the Nat’l Sports Media obsess and drool over….the Yankees. They’re more interested in the jock strap Derek Jeter will wear, than who the Phillies will have in their starting rotation. The Phillies playoff games we’re moved to afternoons, so the Yankees could occupy Prime time. To listen to Philly sports fans complain about this smacks of: “why is it always about Marcia….Marcia, Marcia,Marcia!”

Thus the 2009 World Series is not merely a baseball contest between two cities that are a mere 70 miles apart, but rather a chance for the urban equivalent of Jan Brady to finally stick it to Marcia and erase nearly 200 years of second city syndrome. Because like any complex sibling relationship, the younger sibling became defined by the older, often through sports competition. So as New York teams won championship after championship, Philly fans we’re usually left to stew in sports mediocrity, perfectly defined by the Andy Reid era Eagles. A team good enough to make the Super Bowl, but not quite good enough to win...like the say the New York Giants two years ago.

The sad irony, is even if the Phillies do win, most people in New York won’t care because…well they’re New York..because they’re important with being home to the World’s financial markets and epicenter of all things important to planet Earth. If you don’t believe me just ask a native New Yorker, they’ll gladly tell you.

Prediction: Phillies in 7, and ESPN will still focus on which Hollywood starlet Johnny Damon is boinking at the moment.