Summer 2010 Wrap-Up (The Extra Spicy Edition!!!)

Well with summer of 2010 behind us historians may look back as the year Americans became crazy from the heat

Hottest Summer Ever (no really) – Around here in Jersey, this summer was statistically the hottest on record with a record 53 days eclipsing the 90 degree mark. It was so hot even the camels at the zoo were telling their trainers ‘F**k this man, I’m staying inside’. Strangely all the climate change deniers were pretty quiet during this time

So as temps climbed, Obama’s approval dropped – What’s becoming apparent is that Obama got rolled by Wall Street because as they posted record profits, folks on Main Street still cannot find a job or those with a job aren’t feeling too secure about it.You know Wall Street now officially runs the place when at Congressional hearings, Goldman Sachs was presented with evidence they sold investors on bad deals then had the balls to bet against those bad deals in some strange mechanism called derivatives. Their response was ‘yeah, so?’


Thankfully there were some great vacation deals on the Gulf coast – With an exploding oil rig followed by blithering incompetence from British Petroleum, the Gulf of Mexico resembled the port-a-potty at a Texas chili cook off.

Interestingly gas prices stayed relatively affordable throughout the whole debacle which seems strange considering normally someone so much as sneezes on a oil rig and World Petroleum prices go up $10 a barrell. Not that I’m implying collusion or price fixing or anything like that among oil companies since they seem so trustworthy from what they tell us in their commercials.

Who you calling ‘We’ White Man? – Fulfilling Obama’s observation that rednecks tend to cling to their guns and bibles during times of uncertainty, Glenn Beck was able to fill the void with his ‘I have a Scheme’ speech….urr….Restore Honor rally in Washington DC convincing 90,000 angry, old, white people that America’s salvation lay in his new book available for only $29.99.

Not sure when exactly America lost its honor but I have a suspicion honor is one of those code phrases for the good old days when Obama had to enter the White House through the servants entrance as opposed to the front door. Washington natives were a understandably apprehensive about Beck's acolytes since most normal people attending rallies usually do not have to be told to leave their guns at home.

Hot new feud: Tea Party vs. Republican Corporate Establishment – As the hope and change thingy got replaced by fear and loathing, a group of angry conservatives developed a habit of dressing up in Revolution War garb and demanding independence from the British. This is where George Michael found out it wasn't THAT kind of teabagging.

When confronted with the fact its 2010 and not 1776 the teabaggers turned their furor on the GOP establishment during election primaries, setting the stage for the real power struggle in Washington next year. Those who want to totally slash Gov't spending against the GOP's corporate overlords who have no desire to see Gov't spending get cut.

Meanwhile some people wanted to blame the Mexicans – If you are Hispanic, a legal resident, and live in Arizona now may be a really good time to get involved in politics or least vote to counter state legislators who apparently do not like you very much. Demonstrated with the passage of SB1070 which allowed police to demand proof of ID of anyone they suspect is illegal (in other words having brown skin) which presumably would result in racial profiling and harassment.

However, before every restaurant kitchen in Phoenix could be emptied out, one of those ‘activist’ Federal judges put a halt to the law citing some small little issue of it violating the US Constitution. But the joke may be on all those rich, wrinkled white people because in 20 years they’ll need someone to wipe their ass in the nursing home.

Ever hear the World’s most annoying sound? – American sports fans were introduced to the vuvezela during soccer’s World Cup.

American Idol wasn’t the only big lineup change – The non-stop party that is Kim Jong-Il's North Korea will take a breather to welcome in his son Kim Il-something-or-other as successor. Foreign analysts presume that Junior helps prove the crazy don’t fall far from the batshit. Seeing as he’s only 27 years old he probably can play the ultimate ‘Do you know who Iam?’ card at clubs and parties. Plus with keys to a nuclear arsenal, Junior can probably have his way demanding free upgrades on airline miles when on the phone with his credit card rewards program.

Top Five Reasons You Can't Blame the (Not really at) Ground Zero Mosque – Never one to miss a chance to demagogue an issue, Newt Gingrich has helped create a dangerous backlash against a proposed mosque near Ground Zero and because nothing says patriotism like cheaply politicizing a Nat'l tragedy. Before anyone starts warming up the bonfire to burn Korans let’s take a few items into consideration

1.You have to differentiate between normal peaceful Muslims and the asswipes who blew up the World Trade Center. These terrorists who were no more a true reflection of Muslims than Pat Robertson is a true reflection of Christianity.

2.It’s really not a mosque, but more of a Muslim YMCA that happens to be open to everyone.

3.It's not really at Ground Zero but two blocks away where within that radius you can find a strip club, an assortment of illegal drugs, and prostitution presumably aimed at the after-hours Wall Street crowd. If Gingrich was worried about desecrating hollowed ground of 9/11 victims start with eliminating those.

4.There happens to be ANOTHER mosque that's even closer to Ground Zero and has been existence since 1968.

5. On the actual site of the Ground Zero are several new office towers that whenever someone goes to the bathroom where does that plumbing go to reach the sewers?...through the resting place of 3,000 people.

Think about that one for second. The site of our Nation's greatest tragedy could not overcome the high corporate real estate value of lower Manhattan. Sort of like building a condo on the site of Pearl Harbor because the ocean views were too good to pass up.If you wanna get mad about desecration, blame the developers not the Muslims.