Something Every 9th Grader Should Hear, Papa John's, and How Kim Kardashian ensured marriage equality will become reality

So Why Exactly Does Eric Holder still have a job? - During Senate Judicial testimony about why not one person responsible for the 2008 economic crash has ever been prosecuted, America's top prosecutor had this to say:

I'm concerned that the size of some of these institutions becomes so large that it does become difficult to prosecute them when we are hit with indications that if you do prosecute, if you do bring a criminal charge, it will have a negative impact on the national economy

Attorney General Clueless

 

So in another words Mr.Attorney General banks have now gotten so big they can threaten United States with economic catastrophe if you try to arrest their executives and you more or less admitting that there are two separate legal systems. One for mega corporations and rich people and another for the rest of us. Right. So who else is too big to prosecute? Terrorists? Drug Dealers? Mobsters?

 

To understand how completely incompetent Eric Holder is, imagine a 'bankster' trying to tell J.Edgar Hoover prosecuting them would be hazardous to the nation's economic health. Hoover would probably respond the way Ray Lewis would if you poked him in the eye and called him ugly. Because you simply could not threaten or intimidate a man who enjoyed the feel of soft satin that came from wearing negligee and women's panties (allegedly) under that manly FBI suit.

The original Victoria's Secret model

Since were talking about stealing money...how is your 401K doing? - Remember when 401K's were the route to wealthy retirement because those old, stuffy ideas of guaranteed income such as pensions and Social Security were outdated because Wall Street knew best how to handle money right and get the best return? Well not really says an analysis by Slate.com showing even if your 401K survived the big Wall Street crack-up of five years ago and actually made money, 20% of your potential savings went to fees, and commissions. So if you managed to make $100,000, you would only have $80,000 because the other $20,000 got siphoned off by investment firm for the 'privilege' of managing your money. Bloomberg's Josh Barro (not exactly raging pinko, socialist) essentially sums up 401K's as bullshit and proposes expanding Social Security to 20% more than currently paid out.

The US Supreme Court had the gayest week ever! - This past week the US Supreme Court heard two sure to be groundbreaking cases. One involving overturning California's Proposition 8 (Perry v. Schwarzenegger), an odious ballot referendum in 2008 that stripped gay and lesbians' right to marry after it had already been granted by California's Supreme court. The other (United States v. Windsor) deciding whether the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) which barred the Federal Gov't from recognizing married gay couples was unconstitutional.

Reading the tea leaves, legal analysts when not busy finding ways to bill clients $200 an hour for their legal services speculated DOMA would be overturned due to the Equal Protection clause in the 14th amendment of the Constitution. Translated from pig Latin legalese, it means Gov't can't deny certain groups equal protection under the law just because you don't like them. Prop 8 will probably be overturned due to a technicality because private individuals (in this case raging homophobes from out of state) can't defend a public law that the California Gov't neither wanted nor asked for.

The Prop 8 ruling likely won't apply Nationally, so backwaters like Alabama and Oklahoma can still keep their gay marriage bans...for now. However the real victory was the Plaintiffs challenging Prop 8 delivered a proverbial legal smackdown eviscerating every argument anti-gay advocates have used in the past to deny gay marriage. The knock out punch was delivered when the defendants for Prop 8 had no response when asked 'If marriage should only be between a man and woman because gay couples can't procreate, why then are heterosexual couples who cannot or do not want children allowed to marry?' Bazinga! The plaintiffs finished out the closing arguments with a mic drop after delivering the verse 'Ring the bell.It's over.' 

 

So here's how Kim Kardashian helped ensure marriage equality will become reality - To understand how momentous these Supreme Court cases were, check out the trend chart showing the survey of Americans approving gay marriage since 2004. Look at the trends after 2010, and suddenly support for gay marriage starts skyrocketing to where in 2013 reportedly it's now up to 58% which in Social Sciences is unprecedented. So what happened in 2011 to suddenly start changing people's mind?

Kim Kardashian, who Joel McHale accurately summarized as being famous for having a big ass, a sextape and starring in a reality TV show with her dead behind the eyes sisters. Apparently she had found true love with Kris Humphries and decided to share that love for all the World in a yearlong 24/7 media orgy and punctuated by a fairytale wedding (televised of course) and dream marriage ...which lasted for about 74 days.

My theory is when the rancid, decaying, maggot infested stench emanating from the corpse of this publicity stunt infiltrated the collective nostrils of America. It caused millions of thinking people who were previously unsure about gay marriage to reconsider after realizing any two morons by virtue of simply being heterosexual can get together to have a 'marriage'. But two loving, committed gay or lesbians who spend a lifetime together as was the case for the plaintiffs challenging DOMA could not which is just plain wrong. 

 

Unlike oral sex there actually is such a thing as a bad pizza - Recently it came to light that Papa John's Pizza was threatening bloggers of any size with lawsuits for talking ill of company CEO John Schnatter who recently threw a public tantrum over having to provide health insurance to his minimum wage employees under the new Healthcare reform. Schnatter threatened he'd have to raise prices a whopping $0.20 per pizza to cover this new insurance.

Not that I'd ever order one of Papa John's shitty pizzas because living New Jersey we are blessed with an abundance of family owned pizzerias far superior to anything mass production pizzas companies could dish out. But I think I speak for decent people that I would not mind paying an extra $0.20 if it meant the guy delivering my pizza could see a doctor without going broke. Herein lies the problem with oligarchs like Schnatter, they don't get that they either provide workers with a decent living wage or they end up supporting a social welfare programs through higher taxes because employees are to poor to afford decent health insurance.

 

 

Stupid Human (Resource) Tricks - Anyone whose ever worked in an office or large corporate setting knows that Human Resources is really just another word for 'people who could not hack it in Business school so would up doing this instead'. Typically HR reps are fall into the category of useful idiots, people semi-intelligent but not enough to actually bring anything of value in a skilled labor pool. So they are used as corporate hacks, there to take all the slings and arrows of employees when corporate makes unpopular decisions and some how put a bright, smiley, spin on it (like calling $2,500 deductible health insurance a 'consumer directed health plan')

So it comes as no surprise according to a study done by Greg Beato in the Wall Street Journal that showed everything Human Resources thought they knew about hiring was (predictably) wrong. For instance:

 

1.The classic Briggs-Myers personality test is actually not a good indicator of personality. Neither is a person's credit score a good indicator of dependability. 

 

2.Switching jobs frequently can actually be a good thing because shows worker is highly motivated to have a fulfilling career.

 

3.Most people who have gone more than 5 years after committing a small minor criminal offense without incident are no higher risk than people who have no criminal record. Especially if that offense was during college.

 

4.Telecommuting and flexible schedules actually make people more productive not less.

 

5.Facebook profiles are not adequately reflective of how someone would be at work plus most people are smart enough to make their profiles private anyway.

 

6.And if someone is stupid enough to post a racist rant, brag about criminal activity, or a scandalous picture to social media than they're probably not smart enough for an important job anyway.

 

7.Everyone has figured a canned response to the inevitable questions that start with 'So tell me about a time when...'

What Sour Grapes Must Taste Like - Lost amid all the hub-bub with the Supreme Court cases over gay marriage was another equally important case regarding race based admissions into colleges heard last Fall. The case is Fisher v. Texas which involves a now 23 year-old who did not get into Univ. of Texas after high school and cited the policy of preferential admission for minorities for instances when deciding on applicants who are 'on the bubble' as the unfair the reason she didn't get in. I'm not going to debate if colleges need race based admissions but from reading the trial briefs it seems more of a case of sour grapes than of any sort of discrimination. Not sure how her lawyrers explained why roughly 160 minority applicants with a higher GPA than Fisher also did NOT get into UT, while roughly 70 white applicants with a lower GPA than Fisher DID get in.

Despite Texas' reputation as a collection of rednecks residing in a hub of ignorance resulting in woeful public schools (49th behind Mississippi, hook 'em horns!) it's university system is actually very good with UT-Austin considered one of the best public universities in the country. And I mention sour grapes for Ms.Fisher since UT-Austin automatically accepts Texas high school seniors who are in the Top 10 percent academically of their graduating class. These people account for 75% of UT-Austin's incoming Freshmen class at any given year leaving the out of state and 'on-the-bubble' applicants to compete for other 25% of spots.

Had Ms.Fisher been in that Top 10% her acceptance would have been guaranteed, but let's face it if you are on the outside of that 10% than you probably did not apply yourself well enough in the four years of high school. But rather than do what high school seniors have done for decades which is accept it and move on. Plus despite Fisher initially being offered a chance to transfer to UT for her Sophomore year if her Freshman college grades were good enough. Apparently she had herself a holy temper tantrum and her Daddy lawyered up with a educational reform think-tank with an agenda and...yada,yada,yada...her little pity party could adversely affect minority placement in top colleges.

 

 

So I want any 8th grader gearing up for the big show of high school next Fall to pay close attention and not be like Ms.Fisher....

 

 

So here's something Every 9th grader should hear - For high school growing up in Columbus, Ohio I went to St.Charles, an all boys Catholic high school that was academically tough and rigorous. What made St.Charles unique though was rather than cater to rich, upper class families, it primarily existed to give boys from lower, working, and middle class backgrounds an opportunity for an top-flight prep school education. On my first day then Principal Dominic Cavello, a man I grew to admire and respect gave a speech that frankly should be required listening of all incoming high school Freshmen. The basic gist of his speech was:

'As of this day, life begins taking score because from here on out all of your decisions will have consequences, some big, some small, but all collectively will determine your path into the future. Wherever you end up in 4, 8 all the way to 30, 40 years from now will be a direct result of the actions taken (or not taken) by you starting right now. It all counts so my advice to you gentlemen is Carpe Diem!' (Latin for 'Seize The Day')

 

You = kayaker, Shark = globalization

 

I wish I had listened to Mr.Cavello and taken what he meant seriously because I fell into that trap of just doing enough to get by and not really putting extra effort into much of anything. I skated through four years of St.Chuck's with a 2.6 GPA, not bad but not good either and certainly not worthy of applying to my dream school Northwestern University in Chicago. Where it hit me that I had wasted a golden opportunity, was graduation when it was announced that the Top 10% of my class had gotten into the elite colleges such as the Ivy Leagues, Stanford, Vanderbilt, Notre Dame, and yep Northwestern. And 52% of my class got academic scholarships to wherever they were headed. Of course a 2.6 GPA does not get you any of those things accept guaranteed admission to a open enrollment state university (Hello Bowling Green with its 'tough' 2.3 minimum GPA needed for admission) with the saving grace of parents willing to pay for tuition.

Unlike Ms.Fisher I learned from my mistake, applied myself in college, got a 3.3 GPA and eventually landed a scholarship to grad school and down the career path to where I'm now. But it always nagged me if I graduated from high school with something close to a 4.0 what could have been. I may have well still wound up at Bowling Green but it would have been a hell of lot cheaper for myself and my parents.

And it's not just in academics but how you choose to invest your time while in high school. Will you choose to find yourself so to grow emotionally and intellectually or lose yourself in the petty social rituals like hanging with the cool kids and parties? Will you learn to build meaningful friendships and how to relate with other people or play the part of the angst ridden teenager or worse a bully? Will you venture outside and explore the World or remain inside and let computer or video games be your reality? Will you do something positive that contributes to a community like a sport, club, or the arts or be negative and tear others down by being an insolent little troll?

This is something I will impart to my kids when the time comes. But meanwhile for all you 8th graders gearing up for 9th grade, my advice to you is Carpe Diem!