So this what it feels like when a nation collectively has a
crappy week. Filled with tragedies both big and small. Planned and
unplanned. For a lot of people stressful times bring out the best. I'm
sure writer Mitch Albom and his totally positive take on life
would collect these uplifting stories of heroism and pen some feel good
tales about the human condition like 'The Five People You'll Meet In
Heaven' or 'Tuesdays with Maury'. This blog is not about those people.
In times of crisis there are those who rise to the occasion and those
who extensively makes things worse. This blog is about the latter
category. Here is a quick list of people who I think we'd all love to
give the middle finger.
1.Dzhokhar and Tamerlan Tsaraev
- For the very obvious reasons. And add to them anyone who kills in the
name of religion be it Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, Judiasm, or
whatever. Religion sometimes is like the skeevy chick in a dive bar, the
cause of most fights and conflicts.
2. Alex Jones of InfoWars and his deranged band of 'truthers'
- In the hours after the Boston Marathon bombing, the Governor of
Massachusetts Deval Patrick had a press conference which was pretty
important for the general public considering we were in the middle of a
civil emergency. Was this an ongoing crisis? Were more attacks imminent?
What was the status of the injured? Before the first question could be
taken, a cretin of infowars.com,Dan Biodoni the hub for internet
conspiracy theorists interrupted with 'Is This Another False Flag Attack
To Take Away Our Civil Liberties?'
The
biggest problem with the internet is when a event like this happens, it
allows the rats and other assorted lowlifes to come out of the sewer to
pollute online civility with their often obnoxious, sometimes sickening
behavior. These are the same group of asswipes who have been harassing
survivors and victim's family in Newtown, CT asserting Sandy Hook was a
false flag conspiracy for the Government to seize all guns. Everything
always seems to come down to far-fetched conspiracy and when confronted
with irrefutable, counter evidence. Their response is well the
conspiracy must be even deeper.
Essentially the same strand runs through
Alex Jones and all other conspiracy wingnuts is the blame for their
pathetic lives is not because their own mistakes or bad luck, but some
hidden nefarious force made up Global Zionist elitists who are
personally ruining their lives as part of some vast conspiracy. It's
like X-Files in its last season, running off the rails without any
comprehensible shred of logic or plausibility.
3. Owners of that West, Texas fertilizer plant
- The only thing worse than a tragedy is a tragedy that could have
easily been prevented. With at least 15 dead, hundreds injured, and
roughly an entire Texas town leveled because a fertilizer plant went
kaboom with ammonium nitrate, the same substance used in the 1995
Oklahoma City bombing. There's a reason we have workplace safety laws,
and Gov't regulation of Industry for instances like this, to prevent a
fertilizer plant from storing nearly 30 times the legally allowed amount
of ammonium nitrate in an unstable container. And there's a reason we
have zoning laws to prevent certain things that do not belong together
from ending up next to each other. Like schools and adult bookstores, or
a landfill next to a farm field, or a plant housing hazardous materials
next to a populated area.
Texas
prides itself on being fiercely independent, and keeping Gov't out of
people's lives, but they should also not be excluding common sense
seeing as an inordinate amount of workplace accidents and deaths seem
concentrated in the Lone Star state. As the famous Texan blogger, Molly
Ivins would say, 'If you think building a fertilizer plant full of
flammable chemcials next to residential neighborhood is a good idea,
then you're a special kind a moron'.
4. The Senate Filibuster
- Technically this is not a person but a thing. However like Pat
Sajak essentially an outdated tool who has long outlived any usefulness.
This week the Senate had 55 votes (out of 100) to approve of expanded
background checks for firearm sales, an idea that 90% of Americans agree
with including majority of gun owners in the wake of the Sandy Hook
shootings. But the archaic rule of needing 60 votes to close off debate
prevented the bill from being voted on effectively killing it. Plus any
meaningful immigration reform, or tax reform, or anything the 21st
century might require appears headed down this road as well. In most
democracies majority rules, no matter how big or small. Because if a
political party has won an election then they have won the right to
govern.
Some concern trolls might argue, 'Well hold on
there sir, as a Democrat, wouldn't you oppose it if Republicans only
needed 51 votes to kill Social Security or appoint a deranged clown as
Supreme Court justice, or name Jojo the circus monkey as Secretary of
State?' I say let em, and then in the next election let 'em faith
the wrath of an angry electorate. Until then the Senate is merely a
place where progress and good ideas go to die.
Also
quick special f**k you to Texas Sen.Ted Cruz. When New Jersey needed
emergency relief funding for Hurricane Sandy, you initially filibustered
it and eventually voted no, wasting valuable time. Because you
cited preventing Gov't waste, and freedom, or something. But when a
crooked plant owner inadvertently blows up a small Texas town and
suddenly your all about sucking at the Federal Gov't tit for emergency
aid because tragedy and Jesus would've wanted that way or something.
Well filibustering can be a two way street.
5.Gwyneth Paltrow
- Now she expressly did not cause any tragedies last week, but it's
worth pointing out she's basically the World's biggest asshole. Some in
Hollywood are asking why does everyone hate her so much? Why all the
vitriol? Well for me she embodies the three most loathsome traits a
human being can have:
First, she's a raging
narcissist, whose collection of cookbooks, wellness guides, and internet
site might as well be called 'Me,Myself, and I'. I'll assume most
celebrities in Hollywood are selfish jerk-offs but unlike Paltrow, most
actors at least have the ability to 'act' the part of 'likeable'. I'm
sure George Clooney is enjoying the good life at some chateau in Swiss
Alps but he at least keeps his enthusiasm under wraps seeing as most of
the globe is in a recession right now. And some celebrities actually try
to spend some their fortune to help out other less fortunate, like with
Matt Damon's Clean Water campaign in Africa.
Second,
she's the worst kind of rich person, the clueless kind. The kind that
never had the financial limits of growing up in a middle or working
class existence, and explains why very few can relate when Paltrow asks
why can't every person be as fabulous as her. So when she bleats on
about how the key to beauty is some $2,500 face moisturizer from Europe
or her Spring fashion must have items recommended on her ode to
self-absorption, goop.com total over half-a-million dollars. It's easy
why most people would love throw a bag of elephant feces at her face.
Plus she can stop telling average parents what to feed their kids, since
I don't recall her becoming a registered dietician.
And
lastly there's the nepotism thing. The reason most civilized nations
got rid of monarchies and fiefdoms is the belief birth rite should not
be an entitlement. And perhaps what grates me the most is she was born
third base, but thinks she got there by hitting a triple. Can anyone
honestly say Paltrow would have a career if she's not Blythe Danner's
daughter? So good for her she's People's magazine's most beautiful in
the World. But if inner beauty were on the cover it would be a
picture of pig vomit.
So here's to hopefully better weeks and months in the near future.
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