The only Election Round-Up that Matters! (or not : ) 11-12-08

End Result - It's All About the "O" – As the 2008 election comes to a close and we elect an African-American President, majority of people decided to show their "O" face as in "Oh hell-no" on a third straight Republican term in the White House.

But even most Republicans (at least the "thinking" ones) have to admit that you felt a sense of pride in our country as we exorcise the ghosts of past racial bigotry. We'll always have pockets of racists around here (cough: West Virginia ) but as last Tuesday showed a large part of Dr.King's dream came true where a candidate of color was judged "Not on the color of his skin but on the content of his character".

The World suddenly likes America Again – Simultaneously overseas about a Billion people said in unison "Oh Thank God, Sarah Palin will be nowhere near the nuclear codes". Not sure why everyone was estactic about Bush leaving seeing as he gave the World 8 years of peace and prosperity? As Winston Churchill once quipped "Americans will always make the right choice…once all other options have been exhausted".

John McCain remembers ....he's John McCain – In one of the most classy concession speeches possibly ever, the McCain that we used to like apparently returned to note the historical moment and congratulate Obama.

Hopefully it will be first steps in restoring his reputation away from 'McSleazy' and denote the end of Rovian-Atwater politics of 'Us vs. Them'/'Only Real Americans vote GOP' crap that has infested Presidential politics for the past 20 years.

Amazingly, the loss wasn't all Palin's Fault – Quick note to Campaign manager Steve Schmidt, No really it was the Economy, STUPID!

I figure Palin couldn't have been that bad right:
Well there was the disastrous interview with Katie Couric which in her defense I would have had the same performance……if I we're coming home drunk from the bars at 3 in the morning.

Or her comment about visiting 'Pro-America' places that 'get it' as an apparent smack of Blue States, which was funny given her husband belonged to a Alaskan secessionist group promoting Independence from the United States.

Or her comment about seeing Russia from her house, which upon consulting a map of Alaska would be impossible unless you're a Seal or a Polar Bear.

Or that video from her church of Palin being anointed by a witch doctor to fight off the 'elements of Satan' inhibiting Alaska State Gov't. Ahhh…so that's why they abandoned using Rev. Jeremiah Wright against Obama.

Or that $150,000 shopping spree which completely undercut the 'Hockey Mom'/Joe Six-Pack/Anti-Elitist' argument. I guess they could not wait for the Kohl's Half-Off Sale or something?

But luckily it was 'Joe the Plumber' to the rescue – The ploy of using a common man being burdened by taxes as a campaign tool may have worked had 'Joe' actually been a plumber or had 'Joe' actually paid his Toledo city municipal taxes, or had 'Joe' actually been his real name.

Vetting (v.) is a process of examination and evaluation. Specifically, vetting often refers to performing a background check on someone before offering them employment. In addition, in intelligence gathering, assets are vetted to determine their usefulness.

Some interesting E-mail reaction to the election –
"Dear Jason,
If you think about it, McCain didn't do too badly considering the albatross of Bush. The popular vote was respectable even though the electoral vote looks like a blow-out. I hate the electoral vote!
Sincerely,
Al Gore"

One winner from McCain campaign: Jeff Foxworthy – His comedy practically writes itself

"If you actually believe Barack Obama is a muslim, terrorist who wants to socialize the American economy. You might be a redneck"

In other election highlights: Massachusetts decriminalizes Pot – The rationale being you never see a pothead hold up a liquor store for weed, so why not let cops focus on the hard-stuff like heroin, crack-cocaine, and Girl Scout cookies.

In a possibly related family note, my cousin from Kansas , is toying with the idea of moving to Boston.

Minnesota Rep. Michelle Bachmann channels her inner Joe McCarthy – While appearing on NBC political show Hardball, Bachmann harkened back to the good old days of McCarthyism by demanding an investigation into which members of Congress were actually Anti-American.

Despite the fact Bachmann may very well be insane, the good people of the Minnesota 3rd Congressional district re-elected her. Should there ever be a return to the House Investigation on Un-American Activities someone should ask her: "Are you now, or have you ever been complete moron?"

Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens channels his inner Earl Long – The proprietor of the infamous Bridge to Nowhere was convicted on seven counts of political corruption in Federal Court which now puts in him in a league with infamous Louisiana Governor Huey Long for dirtiest politician ever.

Best moment of unintentional hilarity was when asked to explain why a lobbyist built Stevens a luxury log cabin worth $250,000 in exchange as a gift for certain favors. Stevens said he forgot it was illegal. Sort of like if someone gave me a briefcase of $250,000 cash and I forgot to declare it in my taxes to the IRS.

California voters channel their inner Alabama – So much for the theory bigotry only lives in the Red States, as supposedly ultra-liberal California voted a ban on Gay Marriage. Seeing as how the initiative was funded by the Mormon Church, can we have a vote for banning door-to-door proselytizing by Mormons? Something tells me if we start attacking the rights of extremist Evangelical churches masquerading as Christians, suddenly these Gay Marriage bans will start disappearing.