Photo Caption - 'Hey Keira, when you start walking on your own, Mom and Dad are so screwed!'
Signs the 'Tom Selleck Look' won't be coming back anytime soon - New from Gilette, the 'Man Body Groomer' which will revolutionize manscaping as we know it. Possibly the best part is their marketing slogan (i'm not kidding) "Trims the bushes to make the Tree look bigger!"
Jessica Biel says beautiful people have it tough - In an interview from Allure magazine, Ms.Biel frets that beauty is a burden because it's prevents her from being taken seriously as an actress. In her defense, I can relate since I'm sure I've lost out on good market research jobs due to my stunning body, movie-star good looks, and overall killer sex appeal.
Mariah Carey says 9/11 ruined movie career - Providing a living example to college Pysch majors everywhere of cognitive dissonance. Carey said the movie Glitter widely regarded as the worst film of all time would have succeeded had it not been released right after 9/11. I have to disagree citing the film was released with the French alternate-title "Smoking Pile of Crap".
North Korean dictator names heir apparent - In case anyone was worried that peace and tranquility might return to the Korean peninsula fear not! Kim Jong Il named his oldest son as successor to his regime. And if you thought Kim Jong was a few croutons short of a salad, evidently his son is nuttier than a squirrel's nest.
British Elections upcoming - In a battle of the least charismatic politicians ever, British Prime Minister Gordon "Mr.Excitement" Brown appears headed to certain defeat at the hands of Conservative Party leader David "Likes to Party" Cameron. That bastion of 'intellectualism' FHM Magazine gives their take: "It really comes down to who less looks like a lumpy, dried out, bag of cement. So we give the edge to Cameron...barely".
Proof statistics can be fun - For example recent surveys show residents of Newfoundland are the most sexually active of any provence in Canada. Newfoundland also has a town called Dildo. Coincidence? I think not.
Coming Soon: "Catcher in the Rye 2-The Loathing Returns" - uh, not really. Author JD Sullinger has sued to prevent a sequel to the classic novel Catcher in the Rye whose main contribution to literature is possibly foreshadowing the Emo movement.
In terms of story development, assuming the main character Holden Caulfield follows the typical Baby Boomer trajectory. The sequel picks up with Caulfield being put on medication and becoming a preppy, conformist drone focused mainly on making money and instant self-gratification.
If crazy was sold as coffee, Fox News would be Starbucks - Evidently the right-wing pundits over at Fox are still bitter about the election. They recently called Obama Un-American because he likes dijon mustard on his hamburger and that's apparently only the French do. So that's makes him unfit to be President? uhh..good luck with that.
"What Fox did is not just create a venue for alternative opinion. It created an alternate reality," Charles Krauthammer.
I hope Heidi and Spencer don't ruin thier careers by being overexposed - oops, too late.
Best Reason yet why politicians should not twitter -
US Sen.Chuck Grassley's (R-Iowa) twitter criticism of Obama's Paris sightseeing trip- "you got nerve while u sightseeing"
From Sarah Smith via blog Wonkette - "Remember back in 1780-something, when we had actual smart people writing our founding documents in beautiful longhand when they weren't inventing new kinds of ploughs and bifocals and shit? Now our nation's top legislators just type away like petulant teenage girls, with their thumbs."
A Response to John Mayer's twitter post - From uber-tool John Mayer about why men generally aren't big fans of his:
"Men hate me because I date their dream girls"
My response: Actually John men hate you because you're a no talent, ass-clown who is single-handedly responsible for the pussification of Rock'N'Roll. The only reason you have a music career is corporate radio perpetuating those God-awful songs to make the airwaves safe for the Lite-Rock/Adult Contemporary crowd who primarily use music as background noise.
Your brand of 'schlock rock' could only be loved by a soulless, record company hack who thinks Hootie and the Blowfish are edgy. If you had any ounce of musical integrity, you would take your guitar playing hand and stick it through a running wood-chipper.
Jessica Biel says beautiful people have it tough - In an interview from Allure magazine, Ms.Biel frets that beauty is a burden because it's prevents her from being taken seriously as an actress. In her defense, I can relate since I'm sure I've lost out on good market research jobs due to my stunning body, movie-star good looks, and overall killer sex appeal.
Mariah Carey says 9/11 ruined movie career - Providing a living example to college Pysch majors everywhere of cognitive dissonance. Carey said the movie Glitter widely regarded as the worst film of all time would have succeeded had it not been released right after 9/11. I have to disagree citing the film was released with the French alternate-title "Smoking Pile of Crap".
North Korean dictator names heir apparent - In case anyone was worried that peace and tranquility might return to the Korean peninsula fear not! Kim Jong Il named his oldest son as successor to his regime. And if you thought Kim Jong was a few croutons short of a salad, evidently his son is nuttier than a squirrel's nest.
British Elections upcoming - In a battle of the least charismatic politicians ever, British Prime Minister Gordon "Mr.Excitement" Brown appears headed to certain defeat at the hands of Conservative Party leader David "Likes to Party" Cameron. That bastion of 'intellectualism' FHM Magazine gives their take: "It really comes down to who less looks like a lumpy, dried out, bag of cement. So we give the edge to Cameron...barely".
Proof statistics can be fun - For example recent surveys show residents of Newfoundland are the most sexually active of any provence in Canada. Newfoundland also has a town called Dildo. Coincidence? I think not.
Coming Soon: "Catcher in the Rye 2-The Loathing Returns" - uh, not really. Author JD Sullinger has sued to prevent a sequel to the classic novel Catcher in the Rye whose main contribution to literature is possibly foreshadowing the Emo movement.
In terms of story development, assuming the main character Holden Caulfield follows the typical Baby Boomer trajectory. The sequel picks up with Caulfield being put on medication and becoming a preppy, conformist drone focused mainly on making money and instant self-gratification.
If crazy was sold as coffee, Fox News would be Starbucks - Evidently the right-wing pundits over at Fox are still bitter about the election. They recently called Obama Un-American because he likes dijon mustard on his hamburger and that's apparently only the French do. So that's makes him unfit to be President? uhh..good luck with that.
"What Fox did is not just create a venue for alternative opinion. It created an alternate reality," Charles Krauthammer.
I hope Heidi and Spencer don't ruin thier careers by being overexposed - oops, too late.
Best Reason yet why politicians should not twitter -
US Sen.Chuck Grassley's (R-Iowa) twitter criticism of Obama's Paris sightseeing trip- "you got nerve while u sightseeing"
From Sarah Smith via blog Wonkette - "Remember back in 1780-something, when we had actual smart people writing our founding documents in beautiful longhand when they weren't inventing new kinds of ploughs and bifocals and shit? Now our nation's top legislators just type away like petulant teenage girls, with their thumbs."
A Response to John Mayer's twitter post - From uber-tool John Mayer about why men generally aren't big fans of his:
"Men hate me because I date their dream girls"
My response: Actually John men hate you because you're a no talent, ass-clown who is single-handedly responsible for the pussification of Rock'N'Roll. The only reason you have a music career is corporate radio perpetuating those God-awful songs to make the airwaves safe for the Lite-Rock/Adult Contemporary crowd who primarily use music as background noise.
Your brand of 'schlock rock' could only be loved by a soulless, record company hack who thinks Hootie and the Blowfish are edgy. If you had any ounce of musical integrity, you would take your guitar playing hand and stick it through a running wood-chipper.
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