How not to handle Public Relations - Let's say you're the Valley Pool Club a snooty, elitist aquatic club outside Philly who has a history of anti-semitism when selecting new members. And one day you abrubtly cancel a inner-city youth day camp trip to your club because one of you're members complained about "All those little black kids in the pool".
Now when the local news media comes to inquire about why, don't send out a press release with this response: "We decided not to allow them back because we wanted preserve the complexion and atmosphere of the club". At that point you might as well change the club's name to Club KKK.
Supreme Court deals blow to show 'Cops' - The US Supreme Court ruled that cops cannot search a glove compartment inside a car just on probable cause alone. They actually have to follow the US Constitution and get driver's consent or get a warrant. So no more hilarity when the mulleted redneck in the wife beater t-shirt says "I ain't got no drugs" and they search the car and find enough Crystal Meth to fuel a Toby Keith conert. But on the bright side cops still get to carry taser guns!
Signs you may have a gambling problem - Recently it was discovered that in legal New Jersey sports betting venues in Atlantic City, you could actually bet on which 13 year-old would win the National Spelling Bee. No word on how many gamblers we're asked to be more specific when placing a bet on "The Asian Kid".
Hot new feud: Barbara Walters vs. Bruno - Proving vapidity on the The View isn't just limited to Elizabeth Hasslebeck, Barbara Walters (or those of the WASP New England background: BaHBaHa WaHters) chastised the movie "Bruno" as being elitist for reportedly making fun of ordinary people by exposing their homophobia. We could take her seriously or we could conclude she's an self-important, whiny, out-of-touch, humorless gas bag.
Hot new Feud: Sarah Palin vs. A Coherent Thought Process - Now ex-governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin quit her job though she's not quitting and not being Governor will allow her to do more for Alaska. Ok, that makes sense..uhh..wait..nope..huh..WHAT?
Don't Cry for Him Argentina - Politicians must clamoring for the good old days when they could fly off to Argentina for five days to have an extramarital affair in obscurity while reportedly on official State business. Unfortunetly for Gov.Mark Sanford of South Carolina, those pesky little people called 'taxpayers' get all snippy when their governor isn't doing his job. Then the media have the nerve to ambush him at the airport returning home from the affair and don't even give enough time to grab the wife as a prop for the "I made a mistake" groveling speech.
New Jersey Corruption Bust - Feds recently arrested 44 and counting politicians around the State for various corruption practices. If they arrest all 120 members of the State Legislature along with anyone associated with our Governor we may very well have something resembling an actual, functioning State government.
"Wow, I can't believe it's not plastic' - According to recently released research, margerine "the pretend butter" is only one molecule different from plastic. If you like margerine on your toast perhaps you'll like eating the plastic bag the bread comes in too.
Anyone watch Amy Adam's career take off - and think that was supposed to be Lindsay Lohan's career?
Anyone watch Rachel McAdam's career take off - and think that was supposed to be Neve Campbell's career?
Newest Right-Wing complaint about Obama: He's ruining married men's "game" - On Fox News, they whined about Barack taking Michelle on dates because it placed an unfair expectation on married men to actually have to take their wives to a romantic dinner. Yep, they actually said that and conservatives wonder why they're rapidly losing credibility.
Given the slew of sex scandals involving right-wing politicians lately, I guess that means for them the burden involves taking a woman to a romantic dinner who actually is their wife. Or in the case Sen.Lindsay Graham taking someone to a romantic dinner who is actually of the opposite sex (allegedly).
An invention we really don't need - Coors Light introduced it's scientific breakthrough that will be sure revolutionize how human beings live and work from here on ...a beer can that turns blue when cold. Whoa, that's some heady stuff! Uh, not really. Thanks to 6,000 years of human evolution, I've found that the sense of touch can help me decipher instantly if a beer is cold enough. And if the beer isn't cold enough, the following formula usually solves the problem: Case of beer + Ice x 30 minutes = WIN.
If you thought you had the Math Teacher from Hell - I'll always have the phobia of scientific calculators thanks to my horrific high school Trig teacher, but she'll have nothing on Khang Khek Ieu aka 'Comrade Cenh". A retired math teacher from Cambodia, Cenh is described as having a mean streak which according to an Cambodian Genocide Tribunal, served him well in running the infamous Tuol Slang prison during the Khmer Rouge reign of terror of that country from 1975 to 1979.
Evidently the place made Auchowitz look like a Caribbean resort. Of the 17,000 political prisoners who entered Cenh's facility, only 12 are known to have survived. Cenh's is also charged with developing an efficient way of exterminating 2.4 million people by creating the infamous "Killing Fields" where mass executions routinely took place. But in fairness, I'll assume not all math teachers are genocidal maniacs.
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